In this case I was the only dissenter . I listened carefully to the justifications , but ultimately wasn ' t satisfied in the arrangements and so held my position . It was lonely to be the decision maker , and there were moments that I experienced uncertainty and stress .

Neil ' s advice was eventually accepted , and he was surprised to discover that once the decision was made it was generally supported : not the opinion expressed at the time of discussion . Individuals spoke more openly once the pressure was off . The leadership for the task changed not long after , and Neil expressed that differing management styles make a big difference in how it feels to be in those pressured situations . Having the confidence of senior management makes it easier all round .

To widen the conversation , I asked Neil to recall a time or memory in his career that he felt he ' d achieved something important . It ' s common to be humble about our personal successes , but recognising and taking pride in significant moments can bolster selfimage . I can sometimes draw strength by remembering past achievements , and I wondered if Neil did the same .

Neil had two key experiences to share . He talked about the sense of community he felt when he was a submariner , going on to explain that he feels most valued when part of a team or community : accessible , listened to and able to speak plainly . Another rewarding experience was on leaving a previous position where the positive feedback on his time in the role , from colleagues with a wide range of disciplines , was very humbling .

I talked to Neil about how hard it can be to admit when I ' m experiencing doubt , especially in environments where I ' m considered the subject expert and am experiencing imposter syndrome . I asked Neil what he would say to someone experiencing stress or self-doubt .

Neil reminded me that it ' s important to remember we are often our own biggest critics . He went on to say that a person ' s first instinct is often the right one , as it will be based on their experiences . He advised to remember that we all make mistakes , and it is really important to learn from them and if possible to share this learning . It takes courage to admit when we ' ve got something wrong , but doing so fosters trusting relationships . He believes it ' s helpful to recognise that people will make mistakes , and to support them in correcting them rather than being critical .

To wrap up our session , we talked about the importance of maintaining relationships , both within and outside of work . We agreed that trusting communication is something to strive for ; talking openly and being ready to listen can support us and give us courage when we face difficult times . Although selfdoubt or stress may not always be avoided , there are resources which can help improve our resilience in dealing with them , and techniques to mitigate their impact . Some which I have found helpful are detailed below .

Useful Resources

Websites : www . mind . org . uk , www . nhs . uk / mental-health / and www . adhduk . co . uk contain great resources for information and support , including signposts for talking therapies .

Books : “ Why has nobody told me this before ?” Dr Julie Smith , a trained psychologist , gives valuable advice and tools to improve mental wellbeing .

Imposter Syndrome can be a source of anxiety .

Podcast : “ Sleep Cove ” has a wide variety of relaxing soundtracks which can be helpful when sleep is challenging .

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